From Unknown to Known
A testimonial from Cristy
“One thing addiction does is turn you into somebody you don’t know.
In my active addiction, I didn’t think anyone could possibly understand how I felt or what I had been through. People had betrayed me left and right–maybe it was the drugs telling me that, but that’s how I felt. I remembered thinking to myself, ‘If I die today, nobody would come to my funeral.’
I thought my addiction was all people saw when they looked at me. It kept me away from anything and anyone that could add value to my life. Unable to make any real connections, I just wanted to be alone and live in my own misery. So, I walked away from everybody.
“I thought my addiction was all people saw when they looked at me.”
When I got to Jericho Road Ministries, although I was eight months sober, I was hostile, angry, and a shell of the person I am today. In the program I felt that the staff was genuinely interested in me as a person. Despite my trust issues, a staff member at the women’s center continually listened to me, showing me love and grace. I couldn’t understand why. I kept asking her, ‘Why do you care?’ But she didn’t give up on me. Eventually, I realized that she wasn’t trying to get anything out of me. I finally felt that I could be honest with someone without feeling as if I would be judged or betrayed.
I never thought I’d come to a point where I do trust people again.
I never thought I could trust somebody with my story.
Having someone that truly knew me and cared about me gave me hope that I was worth taking the time and effort to get to know. I started to believe the good qualities in myself that I once had discarded.
Now I am able to trust people more. I am able to come to terms with the guilt and shame that I was carrying for so long. I came to believe that I could love and trust people again, that I was worthy of that. And I believe that people in my life are worthy of that as well.
Relationships and community are monumental to me in my recovery as I know that an addict alone is in bad company. I know how important it is to have a solid foundation so that I have a support system of positive and loving people in my life when the trials and tribulations do arise.
I’ve been at Jericho Road Ministries for nine months now, and I’m so thankful my addiction doesn’t define who I am today.”
Cristy at Esther's House with Christine K., Women’s Center Manager
